In 2 days, my wife and I will be celebrating 2 months of marriage.
Celebrating is a strong word because we will probably just splurge on queso and margaritas at our favorite taco spot.
Regardless, we're 2 months into this beautifully messy, refining, and holy thing called marriage. And while I'm definitely not qualified to write a book on how to make it work, I've certainly picked up a few lessons on the journey so far.
1) Marriage doesn't fix your bad habits.
I like the snooze button. And while I genuinely enjoy early, quiet mornings with a cup of coffee, sleeping until the last possible minute is just so terribly wonderful. And that love of sleep usually wins in the battle of waking VS snoozing. I always thought this would change when I got married because I would decide to not be a jerk and turn my alarm off so it didn't wake my wonderful wife sleeping soundly next to me...Nope. I'm bad at this and marriage didn't fix it. But hey, I'm working on that...and the whole "turn the light off when I leave a room" thing. Sorry, Becca.
2) Schedules don't slow down.
I tooootally thought there would be more Netflix and chilling but our schedules are just as packed as they were before we said "I do." And while spontaneity certainly exists, most weeks we find ourselves making sure we have nights scheduled to just be with one another. Part of this is because she works a full-time job and I'm working on 4 different projects while simultaneously trying to start my own business, but it's mainly because we have amazing folks in our community having babies and getting married and changing the world and living extraordinary lives. It's a blessing, but it means we have to be committed to making time with one another a top priority.
3) Decisions take more time.
I've been known to make decisions very quickly. There have been times I've said yes or no to something or someone without adequate guidance or thought on the situation. And while making hasty decisions have not always turned into negatives for me, in most cases, I should have spent more time praying through, thinking about, and seeking guidance on what to do. However, marriage is teaching me to slow down and enjoy the journey of making big decisions together. So while Rebecca and I are currently in the middle of finding a home church, we both want to make sure we are weighing options and talking through where we will finally land. I'm learning the importance of walking through a decision with one another, and working to believe the best about the process along the way.
4) Marriage doesn't make you boring.
If there were a rolodex of stupid things I've said in my lifetime (besides what you can find on Twitter), you'd probably find a time I've stated "Married people are less fun to hang out with." I was dead wrong then and you'd be dead wrong now if you believed it. In fact, if you're single, there's a good chance you'd come out on the winning side of life if you'd spend more time over coffee and around tables with people who are married. So single people: keep inviting us to the parties and the clubs and the get-togethers and we'll still be as awesome as we were before. Marriage doesn't automatically mean early bed times and constant isolation and boring activities...ok maybe it does mean early bed times, but that doesn't make us lame.
I like marriage a lot. If you've been a part of the story God is writing for Rebecca and I, thank you. If you've shed a tear or provided a gift or taught a lesson or shared a moment - thank you. If you've held our hand or cooked us dinner or simply loved us well - thank you.
We are us because of you.
What is something you are currently learning about relationships, singleness, or marriage? Let me know in the comments below and Iet's chat about it!